What once was lost
by Orion6
Summary: *WIP* When all attempts by Kinsey to get to SG-1 fail, he decided to go for what he perceives as the weak link...the SGC's Pentagon Liasion.
1. Reflections

"You don't talk about it much do you?" Daniel's voice brought Paul back to his current surroundings. He looked up from his desk and saw the Archaeologist stood in the doorway. He frowned and slowly looked at the small calendar on his desk. March 20th. The date of his wedding anniversary and also, ironically, the date his divorce was finalized. "I thought you might need to...confide in someone."  
  
Daniel chose his words carefully. He'd known Paul for some time now and against all odds, they'd become friends. He knew about Paul's marriage, knew that his obsession for the Stargate had caused the breakdown, knew that somewhere in his heart Paul still loved his ex-wife. It was obvious on this day every year. He became distant, subdued. He could often be found lost in thought at his desk, like he was now.   
  
Paul sighed softly. "Thanks Daniel but...I really don't want to talk about it." He watched his friend move from the doorway, closing the door firmly behind him and followed him as he crossed the room and sat down infront of him. Paul threw his pen down onto the report he was working on. "You're not going to give me a choice are you?"  
  
"No...no. If you don't want to talk about it then that's fine. It's just..."  
  
"...you think I should?"  
  
"Well yes." Daniel lounged back into the chair. "Every year you fall into this...abyss. For the entire day you just...it's like you're not really here. I know that your divorce was a mutual decision but I can't help thinking that it was more than that."  
  
Paul leant back in his own chair. "Such as?"  
  
"Such as a mutual acceptance that love wasn't enough to get you through it? That you loved her so much you wanted better for her. You knew what you were getting into was too important to let go and you thought she'd be better without you. And I think she knew on some level what was going on. I think she agreed to it because she couldn't go on with the way things were." Daniel regarded Paul carefully. "And I think you still love her. I think you regret the decision you made...the one you forced her to accept. And I think you need to face up to that."  
  
Paul studied his friend in silence for a few minutes. "We were practically strangers by the time we divorced Daniel. I would work long hours, miss mealtimes, we'd see each other for maybe ten minutes out of each day. We'd communicate in hand written notes left on the refrigerator, or via e-mails between our work places. But you know what..." Paul leant forward on his desk. "...she never stopped caring for me. She'd cook for two knowing I wouldn't be there, and leave the food for me to warm up when I got in. She sorted my mail for me, pressed my uniform, took my phone messages and relayed them to my cell phone. She wrote cards for me on my parents birthday when she knew I would forget. She never stopped being there for me even though we hardly saw each other." Paul frowned, a deep look of sorrow and regret passing over his features. "I had the most unique woman in my life Daniel. I could have had a marriage that most people only dream of. And I had to let it go."  
  
Daniel dropped his gaze to the floor in thought. "We've all lost people we love Paul. But there's a difference." He looked up. "I had a wonderful wife who I loved with all my heart. I had a wonderful family and I was happy and content. But that's gone now. And I can't ever get it back. You, however...you could."  
  
Paul pulled something out of his jacket pocket and looked at the pager he now held in his hand. "This...is my last link to her. When I left, I gave her this number and told her no matter what, if she was ever in trouble, I would be there for her. She is the only person who has this number. It has been silent for 4 years Daniel." 


	2. The Visit

Natasha pulled the groceries out of her car and juggling her keys and her mail, walked up the front path to her house. Carefully opening the door and kicking it shut behind her, she slung her keys on the table and walked into the kitchen, placing the groceries on the center counter. Absently she pulled out the things that needed to go in the refrigerator and on her way there, activated her answerphone so she could listen to her messages.  
  
Her best friend Karla had called to check she was ok. Natasha shook her head slowly. She called every year, like she was afraid her friend would fall apart on that one day. She started placing her shopping away when another message caught her attention.  
  
"Natasha. It's Mrs Davis here. I just called for a chat. I'll call back later."  
  
Natasha sighed. Paul's mother had been in constant contact with her since the divorce. She was grateful of course, she'd built up a strong friendship and bond with Paul's parents over the years. And it was nice to know that despite everything, they had no intentions of allowing that to end. As she closed the refrigerator door, a small piece of paper caught her attention. She moved the magnet which held it in place and looked at it. Paul's pager number. She clearly remembered him giving her this when he left. He'd emphasized that she could use it at any time, if she was in trouble and that he'd be there for her no matter what. His words had done nothing to calm the feeling she'd had then, that he'd got himself involved in something dangerous. But that was his career. He was an Air Force Officer and he was totally dedicated to his job. He knew the risks and he accepted them.  
  
She sighed softly and replaced the number. Turning she looked around the house they'd once shared. At the time of the divorce she'd insisted that she buy the house from him, as she'd done a lot of work to it. Now as she looked around, she realized that although she'd redecorated it, it would always be *their* house. She would never be able to look at the kitchen table without seeing him sat there, as he always had in the mornings at the beginning of their marriage, reading the local paper and drinking his morning coffee.  
  
"Four years..." She muttered to herself. "Four years and I still can't move on." She put away the rest of the groceries and walked into the lounge, slumping down onto the couch. "What are you doing Paul? What did you get tangled up in?"  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. She frowned looking at the clock and cautiously went to open the door, keeping the safety catch on. Two men in black suits stood on her porch.   
  
"Natasha Davis?"  
  
She winced softly at the use of her married name. "No. Natasha Taylor."  
  
One of the men frowned. "You're not Major Paul Davis' wife?"  
  
"No. Ex-wife. Is there something I can help you gentlemen with?"  
  
"We were wondering if you could tell us where we might find him."  
  
"Who Paul? I have no idea. We've been divorced for some years now."  
  
"He's not working at the Pentagon anymore?"  
  
Natasha sighed. "I really couldn't tell you. I suggest you contact them." She went to shut the door, but one of the men put his foot in the gap, preventing her. "Was there something else?"  
  
One of the men leant forward. "Yes...actually there was. Don't for one minute think we don't know that you're hiding something. You can tell that ex-husband of yours that we'll be back...and we will find what we're looking for."  
  
Natasha fixed a steady gaze on him. "I have no idea what you're talking about and as I'm not in contact with Major Davis anymore, I won't be able to pass on your message." She kicked the man's leg through the gap and slammed the door shut. Her hand reached for the phone and she pushed the button that she'd programmed Paul's pager number into. She watched the men walk down the path and get into their car, making themselves comfortable for a stakeout.  
  
"Your message please?"  
  
Natasha returned her attention to the phone. "We need to talk."  
  
She replaced the phone and continued to watch the men from the hall.  
  
"If ever I needed you Paul...now is the time." She turned her back on the front door and made her way upstairs to retrieve the handgun that he'd left in her possession. "Just in case." 


	3. Contact

"Thanks for coming with me Daniel." Paul pulled up outside the house and switched off the ignition. He glanced at the front door and sighed.   
  
"Nervous?"  
  
"A bit." Paul laughed. "Stupid isn't it." He got out of the car and locked it after Daniel, following his friend up the path.  
  
"I wonder what she wants."  
  
"I have no idea. She hasn't contacted me in four years." He knocked on the door. "And to be honest 'We need to talk' was not the type of message I was expecting.  
  
Daniel turned his attention to the house as the front door opened. Whatever he'd been expecting Paul's ex-wife to look like...this was not it.   
  
"You came." Her voice was soft and full of disbelief.  
  
"I told you I would.." Daniel noticed Paul's voice drop significantly and wondered if she'd changed much since the last time he'd seen her.  
  
"You'd best come inside." She stepped back and allowed the two men in. Daniel followed Paul's gaze to the handgun on the hall table and raised an eyebrow as they walked into the lounge area. Paul looked around the room, noting that she'd completely changed the decoration and the furniture, and it made him feel lost. He shook his head slightly as he sat down.  
  
Daniel watched her take a seat opposite them both. He could see why Paul would have married her. She was very pretty. Long brown hair that fell in loose curls past her shoulders, beautiful green eyes that shone even in the dim light of the lounge. Her figure was semi hidden in loose fitting pants and a vest top. He frowned slightly at her questioning gaze. "Oh...I'm sorry. I'm Dr Daniel Jackson. I'm a friend of Paul's."  
  
Her gaze slid to Paul. "You brought back up?"  
  
"Um...yes. Well I wasn't sure why you called. I mean...it's been 4 years and I didn't want to get into a show down with you..."  
  
Natasha chuckled softly. "A show down? I don't think I ever raised my voice at you the entire time we were married."  
  
"No...I'm sorry...I just...it was a bit of a shock that's all."  
  
"I can imagine." Natasha frowned softly. "Paul...I always suspected that whatever it was you got yourself into, was some kind of classified project. However...this mornings little incident seems to clarify that."  
  
"Incident?" Daniel frowned. "What happened?"  
  
"I had a little visit from some men, asking after Paul. Claimed they didn't know we were divorced. Told me they'd be back and they would find what they were looking for."  
  
"Oh god." Paul dropped his head in his hands and groaned softly.  
  
Natasha got up and went to look out of the window. "I assume you know who they are?"  
  
Daniel looked at Paul. "NID?"  
  
Paul nodded. "Maybe they figure they can't get to you guys so they're going to try and get to me." He looked up at his ex-wife who was still looking out of the window. "You can't stay here."  
  
"Paul..." Daniel shook his head at his friend slowly.  
  
"Daniel...she's in danger. I'm not going to leave her here so those idiots can..."  
  
"They're back." Natasha watched the black car pull up outside the house.  
  
Paul and Daniel got up and moved over to her position, watching a man get out of the car. "He's alone. Should make things easier."  
  
He walked up the path and knocked on the front door.   
  
Natasha raised an eyebrow and made her way to the hall, picking up the handgun on the way. Paul and Daniel took positions behind the door so they wouldn't be seen. Natasha nodded slightly and opened the door, keeping it on the safety chain.  
  
"Natasha Davis."  
  
Natasha sighed. "How many times do I have to tell you people. Paul and I are divorced." She silently clicked the safety of her gun, which was in her left hand behind the door, out of sight.  
  
"That's unfortunate ma'am. We believe that Major Davis holds some important information. We have been sent by the Pentagon to retrieve him."  
  
"Really? Well...as I said. I'm not in contact with him. I have no idea where he is and I certainly know nothing about his job."  
  
"That is again...unfortunate. I'm going to have to ask you to come with me ma'am."  
  
As he was speaking, Natasha moved the gun behind her back and placed it in her other hand. With her left hand she took the safety chain off the door and opened it slightly wider, raising the gun to his face.  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
She grabbed him and pulled him into the hall, as Daniel shut the door behind them. She forced him up against the wall and leant all her weight on her forearm which was against his neck.  
  
"What are you going to do? Shoot me?"  
  
"The thought crossed my mind." She felt Paul's hand on her back and knew that both of them were beside her. "Who are you? And what do you want?"  
  
The man looked at Dr Jackson and then Major Davis and smiled. "I've already got what I want."  
  
Natasha hit him hard around the head with the butt of the gun and he fell to the floor. Daniel and Paul grabbed him and dragged him into the lounge, tying him to a chair and gagging him as well.  
  
"Nice to see you haven't lost your touch." Paul muttered as she finished tying the man's bonds.  
  
"You did good." Daniel smiled at her.  
  
"I had a good teacher." Natasha looked at Paul.  
  
"You're not safe here. He was just the messenger. They'll come for him when he fails to report in."   
  
"I can take care of myself Paul."  
  
"No you can't."  
  
"Ok...let's just, take this discussion somewhere else shall we." Daniel watched the two of them closely. There was definitely something still there...he was sure of that. Paul nodded and waited for Natasha to gather some things and follow Daniel out of the door.  
  
He stood infront of the man now bound to the chair and hit him hard across the face. Narrowing his eyes he walked out of the house. 


	4. As it is

Daniel looked around the quiet café and watched as the waitress came over to take their order. "Um...I'll have the strongest coffee you have in the largest portion you do..."  
  
"Sure thing." The waitress turned her attention to Paul, whom she regarded with open interest. "What can I get you sugar?"  
  
Daniel watched Paul smile up at her and place his order. Daniel's gaze shifted to Natasha who was staring out of the window, oblivious to what was going on inside.   
  
"Ma'am...." The waitresses gaze was fixed on Natasha as she tried to get her attention.  
  
"Natasha." Paul's voice was again soft and if Daniel hadn't known better, he'd have placed money on the fact that they were involved.   
  
This didn't escape the notice of the waitress. "Can I get you anything?"   
  
Natasha turned at the impatient tone in her voice and regarded her coldly. "Coffee....strong...black."  
  
The waitress sighed and left to get their orders. "So....seeing as I'm banished from my own house...where are you guys planning on taking me?"  
  
"Somewhere safe."   
  
"Paul...where are we going to take her. I mean, we can't take her back to the base. And unless you know something I don't..." Daniel frowned at his friend.  
  
"Well I'm not taking any chances Daniel. The NID are not going to give up that easily."  
  
"Excuse me?" Natasha regarded them both. "That's the second time you've mentioned that. NID? What is it?"  
  
"It's a department of the government that..."  
  
"Paul!" Daniel cut him off abruptly with a gently warning tone.  
  
"What the HELL is going on?!?!" Natasha was angry now.  
  
"Ssssshhhh." Daniel frowned and tried to calm her down.  
  
"Don't you "shush" me! I just had my life threatened...I reserve the right to be pissed off!"  
  
"Tash...." Paul murmured softly whilst gently stroking her arm. "Keep your voice down ok?"  
  
"No it's NOT ok!" Natasha fell silent as the waitress came back with their order.   
  
Daniel waited until she was gone. "I realize that it's not ok but..."  
  
"...but what? It will be? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"  
  
"Well...I mean...there are no guarantees..."  
  
"Daniel....what he's trying to say Tash, is that..."  
  
Natasha looked at them both. "Tell me...right now...what the hell is going on...or I walk." She waited for a few moments as Daniel and Paul stared at each other. "Fine." She collected her bag and got up. When Paul refused to move and let her out, she climbed onto the booth seat, onto the table and left that way, knocking over Paul's coffee on route.   
  
Daniel watched her exit and then looked at Paul. "She's very..."  
  
"...feisty?" Paul offered as he got up and followed her.  
  
"Yeah..." Daniel replied softly into his coffee.  
  
"TASH!" Paul hurried after her and grabbed her by the arm, turning her around. "Don't....if you leave, I can't protect you." He saw the anger flash in her eyes.  
  
"I can protect myself."  
  
"Not from the NID!"  
  
"Says who?"  
  
"Says me!"  
  
Natasha stared at him carefully. "You're not my husband anymore Paul. It's not your job to protect me."  
  
"Yes it is."  
  
"No..."  
  
"IT IS....you're only in this situation because of your involvement with me!"  
  
Natasha sighed and shrugged her arm away from his grip. "Fine. But don't expect me to co-operate unless you tell me *exactly* what is going on!" 


End file.
